This morning, I ran across this article. Timely too because lately, I’ve been wondering more and more about love, and not really around the concept of having a boyfriend or partner, which for me, would be a novelty these days, but more about the emotion of love. You know, the kind where you have no control or the kind where you’re so scared, you’re not sure how you’ll maintain balance between self and other. The idea that someone of the opposite sex needs me, but in a completely healthy way. There are all kinds of love, but the right kind, in my mind, is a healthy combination of all of the above. Sometimes I wonder if I have ever achieved that balance, and considering the fact that I just turned 43, that is a harsh truth to face.
Noting how complicated I find love to be, as I read the article, I was thinking how I wish it were as easy as Dr. Aron’s experiment mentioned, but then I realized it can be that easy. In fact, it has been. I suppose up front, I’m a fast faller; typically, it hits me right away, and if I have any guts to explore it, so be it. Otherwise, it stays locked inside me forever, or morphs into wishful thinking. I’m not so sure I’m convinced about the idea that we choose to be in love as I’ve never found it to be up to me, but the more I think about it, the more I have found that those people who force me into my own vulnerability or the intimate details of my life, and go to bold places sooner than later-those are the ones that take me there. This begs the question that If I’m open to those situations, then in a way, aren’t I choosing to fall in love?
It has and always will be about timing. Sometimes, that can be a split second. Maybe a decision. I like Dr. Aron’s questions because they force people to go there quickly. If it were up to me, I would refrain from answering many of those questions. Call it privacy. Call it vulnerability. Call it the fact that I’m not sure who is and who isn’t worth my time anymore; therefore, why go there until I know for sure. That’s exactly what Mandy Len Catron is writing about in this article-making the choice to go there. Somehow in part, science suggests that when you do, love is more likely to happen.
Clearly, I need to get outside and go skiing-so I think I’ll do that!
Thanks for stopping by….