In the 70s and 80s, parents could hire cheap babysitters, and even if they didn’t, it was an accepted practice to leave the kids home alone by the time one was the appropriate age. It’s hard to say if parents agreed on what that age was, but it was certainly younger than what is considered acceptable today. In those days, parents would go out without the kids quite often. Once I was defined as old enough to be left alone, my parents took advantage every now and then. We only had one tv in our house at the time, or so this is what I remember. Back then, you still had to get up to change the channel and I found the tv to be good company when home alone.
My childhood home was complete with a very used wooden bar, a multi-colored patch-like love seat with wooden arm rests, and red shag carpet; the house screamed 70s’ decor, although I am not sure that is the technical name for it. We also had this deck that was a constant second gathering while entertaining. As a child, I loved having all of my friends over for birthday parties on that deck. Our legs would be dangling off the sides, swinging with joy as we sat on the bench-railing waiting patiently for the home-made ice cream machine, the kind that required rock salt, to finish. The adults too, whether separated from us or not, seemed to relish in their joy while entertaining each other on that deck.
I got lucky on this trip! Great skiing, but topped off with some perfect and blissful views. My camera and I loved every minute of it.
- The relationship you build with a place can be as or even more powerful than any relationship you have with another human being
Despite the common saying that no matter where you go, there you are paints a picture that you can’t hide from yourself, I believe that the fact that you’re going or you’re exploring, even if the sole purpose is to hide, helps to make you a better person. The experiences you have with place change you, and sometimes, in a split second. For me, I’ve learned you can have a very powerful relationship with place just like you can have a relationship with people. Like all meaningful relationships, it takes work to love where you are, and more importantly, who you are in that environment; for me, I am no longer convinced that you are the same person regardless of where you are, just like you are not the same person with human relationships.
I’ve been struggling with pushing the publish button for a bit yet again, and to combat that, I’ve been looking for new motivation to hang on my bathroom mirror to replace the other ones that were once my daily mantras. I was on the phone with a close friend yesterday who told me that she loves my writing and I exhaled the compliment out with a full body reaction. I didn’t ask for the compliment or bring up writing; I didn’t mention my current struggle, and yet the compliment was there for me. My shoulders sagged as I couldn’t remember the last time I wrote something real. Her words reminded me that I’m a little lost when I’m not putting words together. Not in the grand sense, but I can feel it.
It’s not that I haven’t been writing; I’ve actually been writing a lot for work and it’s incredible because I will be a published writer soon and I won’t complain about that, but I think I put writing into categories or folders if you will, and right now, the therapeutic one is pretty empty. The truth is that it scares me to know that if I don’t do it here, I won’t do it, and if I don’t, then it just goes away, disappearing into the disposal with all of my other lost words.
I’m not a disciplined writer, or one who is writing as a career. I don’t do research to become a better writer; I just have this slightly nagging feeling that I’m suppose to be doing it. This might be why I get a little satisfaction out of one well written sentence, comment, or a bumper sticker thought. I don’t have to be on the mark, but then, sometimes, I do. I fall on my tongue every day to find entry points with others or simply try to be empathetic and I’m fine with making mistakes so why is it that I struggle with just rambling to ramble with my writing?
They say that you get better at writing by doing it. The message for myself this evening is that the little pieces mean something.